It's Worth All That's Lost
by Mandabear99
Summary: Kurt and Blaine's future doesn't turn out the way they expected, but they always know they have a friend in each other, even when they find love where they least expect it. Series of oneshots featuring Klaine friendship, Kurtbastian and Blaine/OC pairing.
1. Big News

**So, something a little, or a lot, different here. Not sure where this came from, I just starting writing one day and this popped out.**

**Title from Tim McGraw's _Just to See You Smile_**

**...**

**N.B.: This is listed as Kurt/Sebastian even though Sebastian doesn't have a big role in this part, because they are the focus of the story in general. Kurt and Blaine are the two prime characters in this particular chapter, but it is _not_ a Klaine pairing. Please no ship flaming. **

**Warning: some course language and sexual themes near the end, nothing explicit.**

**oOo**

"You're _what_?"

He was expecting some surprise, maybe a little disbelief, but this reaction of pure shock takes him back a bit. "Umm, I—we—are expecting," Kurt repeats. "A baby," he clarifies, just in case. "Our surrogate is six months along." The smile that dropped at Blaine's initial reaction comes back tentatively.

"You're having a baby with Sebastian?" And now there's hurt crumpling Blaine's face. Kurt was not expecting that either; he thought they were past that.

"Blaine…" but that's all that comes out, because Kurt has no idea how to comfort him anymore.

"But… we only broke up because you didn't want a family."

A little bit of guilt makes itself known, but Kurt won't let himself go there. "At the time I couldn't see myself settling down and starting a family. But Blaine, that was _ten_ _years_ ago, people change. I didn't lie to you. I _never_ lied to you."

"You didn't want a family with me, but you'll have a family with _Sebastian_?"

Kurt knows it's only because Blaine's hurting, and that he doesn't _really_ mean it, but Kurt catches the implication that Blaine is a far better father than Sebastian could ever be. "That's not fair. You know he's not the same man he was in high school. We've all changed." He's angry now, and regrets sharing the news with Blaine. Then he's sad, because he should be able to share the news with his once best friend, and Blaine should be happy for him.

Blaine seems to be having the same thoughts, because his face shifts to his apology one. "You're right. I'm sorry. I was just having a 'what if' moment."

Kurt hates being the reason for that sad look on Blaine's face. "If we stayed together, you never would have met Daniel, and Carter, Emily, and Eric wouldn't exist." Blaine's face lights up, like it always does when he's thinking of his eldest son and two-year-old twins. "And you can't tell me that you'd trade any of them for a 'what if' with me."

"You're right," Blaine repeats with a fond smile. "You always were." And just like that, the awkwardness is gone. They are silent for a moment, contemplating the past as they sip their coffee. Eventually, Blaine breaks the comfortable silence. "So tell me, how'd you keep this from me for so long?"

Kurt smiles and blushes slightly, because it has been difficult. He may not call Blaine his best friend anymore—because the term seems so antiquated and _high school_, synonymous with sleepovers and four hour phone calls—but they are close. What they have now is a more mature friendship, and Blaine ranks right alongside Rachel as his closest friend. Sebastian hadn't liked it at first, but he had gotten used to it when Kurt had explained he didn't have a say in the matter. "I almost slipped up a couple times," he admits. "I really wanted to tell you right away, but Bas and I agreed to wait until the six-month point." Kurt doesn't need to explain to Blaine that things can go wrong before then. Blaine's first surrogate had a miscarriage at three months that broke his heart. The worst part of it was telling everybody who knew they were expecting.

"The doctor's appointment," Blaine says knowingly.

Kurt nods in confirmation. He had had to cut one of their coffee dates short for an ultrasound appointment last month, and almost spilled the beans then. "I also saw you the day we found out it took, and almost told you then."

"Ah, yes, you told me you were just excited because Bas surprised you at work with flowers, but I knew there was more to it than that."

"He surprised me with flowers and the news that our surrogate was pregnant." He still remembers that day clearly. He had screamed with joy, the actors he was fitting came running, and Sebastian had to tell everyone there was a spider in the flowers. To this day he still gets teased about it. By Sebastian.

"So whose is it, if you don't mind me asking?"

It's only fair for him to ask, since Kurt knows that Carter is Daniel's, and the twins are Blaine's. Not that anybody couldn't tell by the matching heads of dark curls. "Mine."

"Good." When they were still together, Blaine had always insisted that their first would be Kurt's, because if they stopped at one, Burt deserved a biological grandchild. Speaking of which, "What did your dad say?"

Kurt didn't answer, just smiled shyly.

"Kurt… no…"

"You're the first person I told."

"Before your dad?"

"Before my dad."

"Before Rachel?"

"Before Rachel. The only people who know are our surrogate, Katie; Sebastian; me; and now you."

"Kurt…" It's said in that voice that says 'you shouldn't have', that cracks a little with emotion, because he understands the significance of the gesture, and he knows he kind of screwed it up with his initial reaction.

"Don't get sappy on me, Anderson." They are both sporting smiles and happy tears, though.

"I'm really happy for you, Kurt. I love you."

"Thanks. I love you too." It took a while to convince him, but Sebastian understands that Kurt says 'I love you' to Blaine in the same way he says it to his dad, and Carole, and Rachel, and Finn, and Mercedes. Their relationship is strictly platonic, has been for ten years, but they still love each other as friends.

They are in the middle of a long, drawn-out hug when they hear the front door open, and a set of keys tossed into the basket. Moments later Sebastian walks into the kitchen and rolls his eyes fondly. "Mind if I greet my husband, shorty?"

"Good to see you too, Sebastian," Blaine says with a smile as he pulls away from Kurt.

"Hey babe." Sebastian gives Kurt a quick kiss on the lips, then notices that both of them are crying. "You told him, didn't you? Just what I wanted to come home to, a sobbing hobbit in my kitchen." He goes around behind Kurt and wraps his arms around his husband's stomach, nuzzling into his neck.

"Love you too, Bas," Blaine teases back.

"Yeah, whatever. Listen, are you guys gonna be much longer? Cause I've been horny all day, and there's this sexy man in my arms right now that I'd really like to fuck me senseless."

"Bas," Kurt shrieks, elbowing his husband in the stomach earning a grunt and a laugh. "You are incorrigible. Get out."

"Fine," Sebastian calls, as he heads down the hallway. "I'm gonna start prepping myself, but if you're not in the bedroom in ten minutes, I'm coming back out and Blaine can watch you take me on the counter."

Kurt rolls his eyes, but there is a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Ignore him."

"I usually do. But I happen to know that you quite enjoy prepping, so I won't keep you." Blaine laughs at the flush that spreads over his ex's cheeks. "You know, all I ever wanted was for you to be happy."

"I know. That's all I wanted for you. But we did it, even if things didn't turn out like we thought they would. We're happy."

"Yeah." Blaine stands and wraps his arms around Kurt once more, pressing a kiss into his cheek. The familiar scent of Kurt surrounds him; one that used to arouse him, but now only fills him with warm comfort. "We are."

oOo

**So, I might have one or two other ideas for this 'verse, but I guess I'll wait and see how this one is received. Would you guys be interested in more?**


	2. Three Small Words

**Okay, the first one seemed to get pretty good response, so I think I'll continue with this 'verse. It won't be a story, per se, just a series of connected oneshots, not in any sort of chronological order. Some, like the first one, will have more Kurt/Blaine interaction, others will be mainly Kurtbastian, but you'll probably see at least a little of all three of them in each part. Also, just so you know, this will not be updated regularly (I _really_ need to start focusing more on my WIP's, or people will start coming after me :/) just kind of as I get inspiration. If there is any specific Kurtbastian situation you'd like to see, feel free to prompt it in a review or pm and I'll give it a shot.**

oOo

"Kurt?"

"Mmm?" Kurt looks up from the television and has to twist his body away slightly to look into his boyfriend's eyes, but something in the tone of voice tells him that what his boyfriend is about to say is important. They hold each other's gaze deeply for a few moments, and Kurt watches as uncertainty floods those gorgeous eyes, which drop to their twined hands.

"Um, could you pass the popcorn?"

"Wha—oh… of course." He tries his best to keep the disappointment out of his voice as he grabs the large bowl—incidentally sitting directly between them on the coffee table—but he watches Sebastian's eyebrows furrow and knows that he is beating himself up inside.

Instead of saying anything, Kurt simply snuggles into his boyfriend's chest, and brings their joined hands up to press a kiss to his knuckles.

oOo

They are walking through Central Park at dusk, after a romantic dinner at an expensive restaurant. Sebastian's hand is resting on Kurt's hip, his thumb casually stroking Kurt's skin just above the waistband of his pants as Kurt gesticulates enthusiastically about the play they saw before dinner. A small smile plays at the corners of Sebastian's mouth. He loves how excited Kurt gets about these things; he would take him to a play every day of their lives just to see him light up like this. He loves watching Kurt's hands glide through the air; hands that know every inch of his body, even the most intimate, _especially_ the most intimate. He loves how Kurt's eyes get wide in excitement; eyes that can sharpen just like that and _know_ his most private thoughts. He loves Kurt's laughter; every time he hears it, he thinks back to the first time he heard it and his heart swells, because that was when he knew that Kurt might actually like him.

He loves everything about Kurt.

"Kurt, I have something important to tell you," he jumbles out in a rush—interrupting Kurt mid-sentence—before he can think about it, before he can lose his nerve. Now he _has_ to say it.

Kurt stops talking and looks up at him with those bright, excited eyes, but there is _more_ in his look now.

Hope. Expectation.

What if he can't live up to those expectations? What if Sebastian can't be the man that Kurt insists he can be, the man that Kurt deserves? He can't say it. He can't get Kurt's hopes up, only to disappoint him six months, a year, five years down the road. If those words remain unspoken, it won't hurt Kurt so much when Sebastian can't live up to his ideal.

"I can't wait to get you home and make love to you." As he says it he can see the hope drain from Kurt's eyes and be replaced with disappointment, and he hates himself for making his boyfriend look that way. But better the small disappointments now than the bigger disappointment later, if those words turn out to just be pretty lies.

But Kurt just smiles at him, even if the smile looks forced now, and kisses Sebastian's knuckles. "Me too."

Somehow Sebastian knows that Kurt's not referring to what he said out loud.

When they get home—technically it's Sebastian's apartment, but it only feels like 'home' when Kurt is there with him—they do have amazing sex, but he can't help but think it would have been better if he'd said the words.

oOo

"Okay, what is it?" Blaine is pretty sure Kurt hasn't heard a word he's said over the past five minutes, he's been too busy sighing and gazing longingly into his coffee cup the whole time.

"Huh, what? I was listening. He took you for lobster. Smart man; you love lobster."

"Kurt, that was our first date. I've been telling you about our third date."

"Oh, sorry, I swear I'm listening now. Continue."

"No, first tell me what's bothering you."

It is a sign of how close they still are that Kurt doesn't even bother trying to tell Blaine there is nothing wrong. He just sighs again and furrows his brows. "It's Sebastian."

Blaine nods sagely. After the initial shock had worn off, Blaine had surprised even himself with how supportive he could be of their relationship, but he couldn't get rid of the uncomfortable feeling that Sebastian was going to hurt Kurt. Even if they did make it for the long haul—which, again, surprisingly, he gave them pretty good chances for—Blaine was pretty sure it wasn't going to be an easy journey with those two. "Bad date last night?"

"That's just it, it was the _perfect_ date. Broadway, fancy dinner, romantic walk through the park… I actually thought last night was going to be the night. It was so close, too, I could tell. And then he choked."

Speaking of choking, Blaine nearly did on the sip of coffee he just took. "Whoa, Kurt, it's only been, what, eight months? I didn't think you'd be so impatient for a ring. I mean you still have several years of safety before your 'married by thirty' deadline." Not to mention, when they broke up, Blaine was certain _he'd_ be the first to get married between them, since Kurt 'couldn't see himself starting a family'.

"What? No! I wasn't talking about a proposal. He—oh god, and it _has_ been eight months if you count all the screwing around in the beginning—but no, he… he still hasn't told me he loves me yet…"

"Oh." Blaine wishes he could say more, but he's not sure what he can say—how he can convince Kurt he is loveable—without it sounding either inappropriate or patronizing. "Umm, I'm sure he _does_ love you—who couldn't love you?—he just doesn't know how to say it." And yup, he managed to sound both inappropriate _and_ patronizing.

"Yeah, no, I'm sure… I'm sure too. I just wish… well, I don't need him to say it to know…" He can't help but remember that it only took Blaine two months from when they started dating to say those words.

As if reading his thoughts, Blaine reaches across and grabs Kurt's hand, forcing him to look up. "Kurt, Sebastian's not like… well, like us. It was easy for us to fall in love. So easy that we didn't even know when we fell out of it. It's different with you and Sebastian, but that doesn't make it any less. Just give him time."

"I know. I am, it's just… I've said it twice, and saying it and not getting it back… doesn't feel so great, you know."

"I really don't. On the other hand, I _do_ know how it feels to sing a song, that nobody bothered to explain to me contained dirty lyrics, in a busy GAP store, then get rejected, if that counts for anything."

Kurt giggles and squeezes Blaine's hand, them pulls his back to wrap back around his coffee cup. "You always knew how to cheer me up. Thank you, Blaine."

"That's what friends are for. You know what else friends are for, though? Listening to their friend's awesome dates."

"Right. You may now continue regaling me with tales of the wonderful Trevor."

"Travis."

"Travis."

"He's hilarious, Kurt. He has a Chihuahua—"

"I don't like him."

"Kurt!"

"Sorry. You know I automatically judge people who own Chihuahuas."

"He has a Chihuahua named Patti Lupone."

"Wow, he's _really_ gay, and that's saying something coming from me."

oOo

They were fighting about Blaine.

Kurt knew the moment was inevitable, really. Ever since he started seeing Blaine—as _friends_—again, he knew it would come to a point when Sebastian took back what he said about being totally okay with it. He was expecting it, and yet, when the moment came, he still wasn't prepared for how to deal with it. Instead of calmly, rationally explaining _why_ he liked, needed, to talk to Blaine still, Kurt let the shitty mood he'd been in all day take over and said something along the lines of 'I don't care if you're not okay with it, you can't stop me'. That was when, as they say, the shit hit the fan.

It was one of those epic fights that start out as one thing, and before they know it, they are fighting about anything and everything they've ever found fault with in each other. Kurt has OCD and Sebastian is a slob. Kurt wakes up far too early and Sebastian snores. Kurt's dad is too nosy and Sebastian's mom is a bitch. The list goes on and on, to the point where, in the heat of the moment, they can't remember why they are even together.

"I might as well just leave then," Kurt screams, taking handfuls of his clothes from _Sebastian's_ drawers—he takes up too much space in _Sebastian's_ house anyways—and it's a sign of how mad he is that he doesn't even care if they're folded as he shoves them into bags.

"Fuck you, you're not going anywhere," Sebastian yells back, taking the same clothes and shoving them back into the drawers as some fall to the floor.

"Don't _swear_ at me. I _hate_ it when you swear." Kurt maneuvers his body between the bag and Sebastian and continues throwing clothes in, not even noticing if he's grabbing his own clothes anymore. "Just _let_ me _go_," he shrieks.

"I won't let you leave," Sebastian roars, grabbing the entire suitcase and throwing it across the room, where it hits the wall and leaves a small dent. "I won't let you walk away from me."

"Why the hell not? It's not like you give a shit about me."

"Because I fucking love you, okay?"

Kurt gasps and then Sebastian swears and then silence overtakes the room. For a moment they just stare at each other, vibrating with the adrenalin from their fight. Then Kurt straightens his shoulders and glares at Sebastian. "Take that back." _This can't be happening_.

"What? No."

"Take it back." _Not like this_.

"No. I won't. I meant it."

"Don't _do_ this to me, Sebastian." Kurt is angrily wiping tears from his eyes. "Take it back."

"Why?" Sebastian's gut is sinking like lead. He thought Kurt loved him. Kurt said he loved him. Sure, that was a couple months ago, and he hasn't said it since, but he thought Kurt was just giving him time. "Isn't that what you wanted?"

"It wasn't supposed to happen this way. Not with the fighting and the yelling and the swearing." Kurt is crying in earnest now, tears streaking down his flushed face. He runs and flops onto the bed to grab a tissue from the bedside table to blow his nose. "It was supposed to be special and romantic and p-perfect. Not l-like this."

"God, I'm _sorry_ Kurt." Sebastian knew he was going to fuck up. He fucks everything up. "I'm sorry, you deserve all that, I'm just an idiot." He sits down on the bed and puts a soothing hand on Kurt's lower back, rubbing soft circles as his boyfriend cries into his pillow. "I…" Before, when it was the perfect time, when he had tried to say it, tried to force it out, the words wouldn't come. Now they were trying to force their way out again, but now wasn't the right time. "Kurt, baby, look at me, _please_." He did, and Sebastian's heart ached at the sight of his love, eyes red and watery, framed with spikey lashes. _He_ made his love look like that. "I'm sorry. You're not OCD, your dad is awesome, and you can get up as early as you like." He holds his arms out, and Kurt crawls into them, pressing his face into Sebastian's chest, soaking his shirt with salty tears, but he doesn't care. Kurt mumbles something, and Sebastian has to pull back slightly. "What?"

"You still snore," Kurt repeats, a soft smile playing at his lips.

Sebastian snorts and tugs Kurt closer again, effectively smothering him as Kurt squeals and tries to pull away, and they end up wrestling onto the bed, which turns to frottage, and eventually sweet make-up sex. And later, when they are both exhausted and naked and tangled together, Kurt's breaths ghosting softly across Sebastian's chest as he dozes off curled into his side, it's that line that makes Sebastian grin like an idiot.

Because he knows that as long as Kurt is teasing him, they are okay.

oOo

Kurt rolls over the next morning, wondering why he can't feel the familiar heat of his boyfriend pressing into his back, to find Sebastian propped up on one elbow staring at him. "Mornin'," he says with a wide yawn.

Sebastian's eyes smile at him, then he reaches a hand up to trace Kurt's cheek tenderly. "I love you." He presses his lips gently against Kurt's to prevent any objections. "I know it's not special and romantic, but I just can't hold it in anymore. I love you." He kisses Kurt's forehead. "I love you." His nose. "I love you." His chin. "I love you, so much." Their lips meet again, tender, but so poignant.

"It's perfect," Kurt whispers, referring to the setting. He grabs one of Sebastian's hands to his lips, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. "I love you too."


End file.
